Fusion #1 Page 4

29th Aug 2011, 5:31 AM in Welcome to My Life
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Fusion #1 Page 4
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Author Notes:

EssayBee 29th Aug 2011, 5:31 AM edit delete
Did I mention that this first issue is too wordy? As evidence of this claim, I put before you Exhibit A: page 4. The page is packed with pretty much all the information you need for these characters (for the time being) and is probably an artifact of my prior prose-writing experience. This is the most text-heavy page of the series (granted there are still many examples of wordiness to come) and is something I've tried to avoid repeating.

As an in-story defense for all the text, the novelty of her first voice-over narration still hasn't worn off for Savunn, so she's prattling on (well, prattling more than usual) in her excitement.


ironchef40 29th Aug 2011, 7:10 AM edit delete reply
Your stuff continues to be ace. Left DD too due to major glitches. Faved and will continue to read this.
Greenknightfury 30th Dec 2015, 1:49 AM edit delete reply
First found this on DD and loved it! Glad I was finally able to find it! BTW, is it just me or does Harold look like Harry Osborn?
EssayBee 30th Dec 2015, 10:39 AM edit delete reply
Greenknightfury--The Osborn likeness is coincidental, even though I now see all sorts of similarities (looks, both are best friends with the hero, etc.). I didn't have Harry in mind, but partway into this issue I did notice it. The intentional nod in Harold's design is his yellow and black shirt--it's Charlie Brown inspired (ya know, the lovable loser type).
Greenknightfury 30th Dec 2015, 1:46 PM edit delete reply
I figured it was unintentional, one of those times when comics you've read sneak into your own work unnoticed.
Siren 8th Feb 2019, 6:30 PM edit delete reply
Well if you're looking for a line to cut, I'd start with the "I lose geek points just for being a girl." That's a bit condescending and ruins the the suspension of disbelief since only a guy would think that (and even then, most real geek guys aren't like that in my experience).